For this piece I was originally her Assistant Director in pre-production helping with her idea development etc. However now we are in post-production I have been helping out not only as a AD but as an assistant Editor. Sugini has been editing her piece herself however I am assisting her in this as I have a lot of editing knowledge in terms of technique (narratively and Conceptually) and skills on Premiere Pro. Therefore we booked in two days were I was sitting going over a rough cut she had already made and helping her improve it and giving her advice on it etc. Again this took a lot of time because we had to use a transcript for me to understand the story as the subtitles aren't done yet. Here are the two days of editing we completed and the main points of what we covered:
30.04.18
Firstly as we went through section by section I was again going over the now much shorter transcript and helping her re-word some of the sentences to put it into proper english as some of the translations weren't always very good english. We also wanted it to flow as best as possible in the words as it needs to be poetic so we were just looking into using the best words and translations as we could to make this happen.
I really loved the visuals in the beginning section of the piece and how they introduced the location and the village etc. However my main advice was to make sure her Father gets introduced properly so we know exactly who he is otherwise there may be some confusion over this.
In terms of sound I also felt like we still need to hear natural sounds to go with the visuals as some of them are so interesting and beautiful that the sound will make even more of an experience out of that. This is particularly important in sections where her father isn't taking but should still happen potentially quietly in the background where her dad is talking too just to keep up the atmosphere.
I also told her to think about where the subtitles will go as this may potentially end up influencing the cuts and the timing of some shots as she needs to make sure people will be able to read it.
We then discussed music slightly and how this must come as a secondary element to her dads talking and also the natural sounds of nature etc heard in the shots. It all needs to work together to create an atmosphere.
A lot of the cinematography is amazing however some shots were slightly shaky or too fast moving but this is simply due to the nature of documentary and her trying to capture all these amazing things happening around her. I have suggested she add a stabiliser to some shots as this may help even out he camera shake and also by slowing some shots down slightly this may also help.
She has amazing silhouette shots in her piece where she uses sunsets etc to backlight her father and other objects to give an amazing visual. These shots are just so stunning I feel like she shouldn't distract from the with her dad talking and subtitles. Instead just let the audience enjoy this visual with maybe just some natural sound or music quietly in the background.
The sea shots are so immersive that I have suggested she add the sounds of the sea back in as the visuals are so rich I think an audience will be disappointed if they don't get to hear the sounds that come with this.
There were a few shots which stuck out to me and dint flow completely and one in particular was a bowl of tomatoes. This stuck out because it was a very common object to show us when everything else has been so unique. Also colour wise it doesn't fit in as its bright red compared to all the other earthy tones we've been seeing. She is going to look into changing this fir a shot which flows with the others surrounding it.
There is a moment where her Dad is listing all the wonderful things they have in the village however we don't see the visuals in the order he is listing them. This gives across mixed messages about some of these things and jars it slightly so Ive suggested she simply re-order this.
There are a few shots which I have suggested she cut down slightly just to avoid a few framing and composition issues which can be avoided if she cut a few frames earlier just so we always begin and end on beautiful compositions and framing.
Again due to the nature of documentary there were very minor focusing issues in a few shots which were noticeable to me. I am amazed at how well the whole piece is focused and how amazing it looks so its a shame to have just a few moments where the focus does suddenly drop out so Ive told her to maybe considering removing those moments from the shots.
I told her to think about how long shots are on screen interns of what the shot itself is. For example she has a very still statue shot on screen for too long as there is no movement in the shot so it needs to be on the screen less time than the heavy moment orientated shots surrounding it. Also there are some close up shots which don't have a lot to them which are on screen too long compared to some of the long shots surrounding them which have so much to look at. Its all about getting the timing right for the shots depending on how much there is to take in.
Some shots need brightening but that is only again because we suddenly jump from being outside in a bright colourful place to then inside a dark room/house. Ive told her to just keep this in mind especially when colouring her piece so she can bring up the brightness of some of the darker shots if needs be.
We need to make sure that we see her dad when he says phrases like 'in that corner' as this is him in the interview pointing to something so we should see him point so that the audience can fully follow what he is saying.
There are some moment between sections of the documentary where I think a black screen might be really powerful. This is because her dad says a sentence that is so intense that we need a moment to read it without not other distractions and give us a chance to absorb that before just bursting into the next visual.
Today we managed to get through half the documentary and I think it looking so promising.
01.05.18
Again we were going through the transcript for this second half again making sure it was translated and written in English as best as it could be.
In the really intense war section I felt like we were seeing her Fathers face for slightly too long. I wanted to see some imagery to go with these sad stories he was telling. His emotion is so powerful so I agree we should see him to see this but also we need to see visuals to add to this for us as the rest of the piece has been so visual.
Again there were just some close up shots which needs some stabilisation added to them but this is minor.
In a section about bomb shelter I feel like we loose variety of shots almost because we suddenly get a lot of mid shots of similar looking shelters. I love these visuals but they don't captivate us as much as they could if we see them all one after the other. I have suggested she break them up slightly with more close ups of frightening visuals like the bullet wholes in walls visuals etc.
I have suggested that she use very empty shots lacking people to add to the sadness of some of the parts of the story. In particular the shop and mine section as we haven't got that many sad visuals in this and emptiness is always a good way to project sadness.
Need to keep an eye on how to traditions between certain shots especially those where we see her father get emotional. We don't want to suddenly break this emotion but instead back this up visually and flow out of it and into the next section.
The survival stories her father tells are so intense and so amazing to hear that we need more time between the two of them to absorb what he has said and all the feelings that go with that. We need a break most fro a moment instead of having one move straight into the next. This makes them bigger deals in their own right as well by having a break.
She has a section where we see a lot of trees as this is what her father is talking about but it feels a bit too repetitive and obvious for what he is saying so I have suggested breaking these up with some slightly different shots to keep up the interest.
A lot of the time the she is showing her father in thought she only shows his face whereas as she has some amazing close ups of his hands etc as well so Ive told her to add these to for some variety.
In moments where the tension is building the pace doesn't always build up. I have suggested that a good way to build the pace would be to cut some shots slightly shorter and break them up with close ups which as we have discussed will be on the screen for less time anyway. For example when he is talking about the sea negatively put close ups of the waves and the shore etc.
Wehn he father starts talking about his brother we don't see him and therefore don't make a connection to him. She is going to see if she can use photographs of him to introduce him briefly so then we connect more and get more invested in the sad emotions and imagery to follow.
After this very sad chapter about his brother we defiantly need a slight break before the next chapter as we have just experienced really sad emotions, again this comes back to finding an appropriate transition shot and maybe even having a black screen up for a brief few seconds.
A lot of her travel shots to go in the journey section are beautiful but as expected they are shaky because she is on moving transport like trains. Again I've told her to experiment with adding stabilising to try and solve some of this although animal shake will be okay as the audience will expect this.
There is one mains till reflective shot int eh travels section and this shot is held for too long as it is the only still shot in this section it suddenly slows the whole pace down too much to have it in the middle of this section for too long.
There are also too many airport shots in this travels section which isn't too interesting after a while as we know what an airport looks like and it gets repetitive. Ive told her to maybe cut some of these weaker ones out and instead find metaphorical shots to represent travel such as sunsets and long shot landscapes etc.
In the end life lessons chapter we need to finish the film off with positive uplift visuals which give across the positive message intended. Its good to show him talking to the camera for a lot of this section but we still need visuals for this.
This second session of editing has been really good as I was able to see the changes made from yesterday and then suggest more today and help with them. I am so proud of how far this piece has come especially because of all the hard work Sugini has put into this film and I am so happy to have been able to aid her in this.
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